A simple way to calm an anxious (and very excellent!) brain.
by Karen Young (BSc)(Psych)(Hons)MastGestTher
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So ready to get started with ‘Hey Little Warrior’ in Melbourne. This is my fourth time this year presenting this workshop in Melbourne and we sell out every time.
So what do we do here?! We dive into how to support young children with anxiety. It’s my favourite thing to talk about. I love it. Even more than whether or not I want dessert. We talk about new ways to work with anxiety in littles so they can feel braver and bigger in the presence of it. This workshop is loaded with practical strategies. I love presenting this workshop.
(And yes - always yes to dessert. As if I would ever skip the most important meal of the day. Pffftt.)
@compass_australia
Oct 27
They’re often called sensory preferences, but they’re sensory needs.
In our adult worlds we can move our bodies and ourselves to seek regulation. If we don’t like noise we’re less likely to be DJs for example. If we don’t love heights we’re less likely to be pilots or skydivers. If we feel overwhelmed, we can step outside, go into an office, go to the bathroom, or pop on headphones for a break. If we need to move, we can stand, walk to get a tea. At school, this is so much harder.
When bodies don’t feel safe, there will be anxiety. This will potentially drive fight (anger, tantrums), flight (avoidance, running away, movement), or shutdown (in quiet distress and can’t learn).
These are physiological issues NOT behavioural ones.
Whenever we can, we need to support physiological safety by accommodating sensory needs AND support brave behaviour. What’s tricky is disentangling anxiety driven by unmet sensory needs, from anxiety driven by brave behaviour.
The way through is to support their physiological needs, then move them towards brave behaviour.
Schools want to support this. They want all kids to be happy and the best they can be, but there will be a limit on their capacity to support this - not because they don’t want to, but because of a scarcity of resources.
There will often be many children with different physiological needs. Outside school there is nowhere else that has to accommodate so many individual needs, because as adults we won’t be drawn to environments that don’t feel okay. In contrast, school requires all kids to attend and stay regulated in the one environment.
For now, we don’t have a lot of options. Yes there are schools outside mainstream, and yes there is home school, but these options aren’t available to everyone.
So, until mainstream schools are supported with the resources (staff, spaces, small classes, less demand on curriculum … and the list goes on), what can we do?
- Help school with specific ways to support your child’s physiology while being mindful that teachers are also attending to the needs of 25+ other nervous systems. But be specific.
- Limit the list. Make this a ‘bare minimum needs’ list, not a ‘preferences’ one.♥️
Oct 20
Brave often doesn’t feel like ‘brave’. Most often, it feels like anxiety. If there is something brave, important, new, hard, there will always be anxiety right behind it. It’s the feeling of anxiety that makes it something brave - and brave is different for everyone.♥️
#anxietyawareness #childanxiety #anxietysupport #anxietyinkids #parent #positiveparenting
Oct 18
Recently I chatted with Sharon from the ADHD Families Podcast. I loved this chat. We took a dive into anxiety and ADHD, including anxiety at school and some strategies for schools and parents to support kiddos with anxiety and ADHD. Listen to the full episode
here https://www.thefunctionalfamily.com/podcasts/adhd-families-podcast
thefunctionalfamily
Oct 16
Remember the power of ‘AND’.
As long as they are actually safe:
They can feel anxious AND do brave.
They can feel like they aren’t ready for brave, AND be ready brave.
They can wish to avoid AND they can stay (or not be taken home).
They can be angry, anxious, and push us away AND we can look after them through the feelings without avoiding the brave/ new, hard/ important.
We can wish for their anxiety, anger, sadness to be gone AND we can be with them without needing them to be different.
We can believe them (that they are anxious, scared, angry) AND believe in them (that they are capable).
When we hold their anxiety AND their capacity for brave, in equal measure and with compassion, we can show them that their anxiety doesn’t cancel their brave.♥️
Oct 7
Oh I love these videos, they make so much sense. Short sweet and very doable. Thank you ?
Thank you! I’m so pleased they’re helpful.