by Sophia Smith

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How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

For a long time, I have been a slave to my own negative thoughts. I cannot imagine how many times I have held myself back and how many missed opportunities are on my regrets list. Many of mine friends were calling me foolish for not believing in myself or anything else, for that matter, and I thought they just do not realize the reality.

With some self-reflection, I have realized, however, that some people are born with “the glass is half full” attitude, while others need a certain dose of maturity, a breaking point or some self-teaching to fill up their half-empty glass.

Once I realized how much my attitude can affect my life flow, I made a firm decision to change it, and I am working on it each day.

How I encourage change in mindset on a daily basis.

  1. Learning to Be Thankful

    An important part of cultivating positive thinking is being aware of what you have and being thankful for that, so I start each day with my cup of coffee and a piece of paper and a pen. Every day I write down everything I am grateful for.

    I start with the little things, like “There was no rain yesterday”, “I found a free seat in public transport”, “My favorite cake”, “A colleague at work said I look beautiful today”, etc. After, I take some time to write down all “the big things” that make my life great, such as, “I have amazing family”, “My friends love me”, “I am healthy”…

  2. Changing the Perspective

    Sometimes, the whole world seems gray, but when you change your perspective, you will see that the sun is shining after all. I like to do that by talking with other people and understanding their point of view.

    Another way is by reading smart, well-written and illuminating books. I have read many of them, but the three that really had influence on my life are “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne, “Who Will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma and “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

    When everything else fails I change perspective, by changing my surroundings. The everyday routine can really start to suffocate me, so I take a walk in the park, get a day off and go on a really short road trip, etc.

  3. Self-Improvement

    One of the things that got me the most depressed was the fact that I am getting old and that there is no more room for getting better. As I was exploring the possibilities of developing various forms of intelligence, I have learned that the brain can develop through life. I am practicing my verbal and emotional intelligence by reading often and participating in conversations. I draw and paint to improve my spatial intelligence, dance to improve my musical and physical intelligence, etc.

    I consider that logical intelligence is one of the most important, so I am dedicating a lot of time to it, by reading books dedicated to it, challenging myself to solve logical problems and playing a lot of games which require logical thinking, such as chess and online Sudoku games.

  4. Healthy Life – Positive Thoughts

    If there is anything I have realized in my journey towards positive thinking, it’s that eating hamburger and fries while binge watching a TV show, will not get me anywhere. On the contrary, it will only make me feel more negative.

    A healthy balanced diet, on the other side, is great for fueling the body. Physical activities, such as walking and exercising, are making me feel ready for all the challenges ahead. The most important message conveyed by a hard day workout is: “I can do it”.

A change in the mindset has drastically changed my entire life. Now, I feel more prepared for all the challenges ahead, and I truly believe that I can do it!

About the Author: Sophia Smith

Sophia is Australian based beauty, lifestyle and health blogger. She is very passionate about organic beauty products, healthy lifestyle and personal development. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

Find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +

 

5 Comments

Derrick k

I really like your attitude towards life. It’s true that to make life more cheerful we need to change own surrounding, think positive.

Reply
Healthylife

People with a positive attitude are happier, more resilient, better decision-makers, and perform at a higher level than those with a negative attitude. People can attain positive attitude with these ideas.
Well done Sophia. I love your content. Keep up the good work.

Reply
Ben

This was very inspirational i lead a positive thinking group for mental health. This is a good example on what positive thinking is. I will use it in my group.

Reply
Paula

Positive attitude is life’s treasure! Coming from the heart instead of the head is more rewarding. When you come from love all things are possible. Share eveything you have and smile. The joy of giving will enhance your life. People will show up and enhance your life! Challenges are best handled by living in the mystery. Stay focused on the positive and fill your heart with love and then let go…watch what happens. .. Paula Biondo ~ Hilton Head Island Spa & Wellness. …

Reply
Arindam

I seriously want to know from your experience that is it really possible to let our dreams come true by having positive perspective towards that .
And how can i bring the love back into my life which is lost somewhere unknown

Reply

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karenyoung_heysigmund

We can’t fix a problem (felt disconnection) by replicating the problem (removing affection, time-out, ignoring them).

All young people at some point will feel the distance between them and their loved adult. This isn’t bad parenting. It’s life. Life gets in the way sometimes - work stress, busy-ness, other kiddos.

We can’t be everything to everybody all the time, and we don’t need to be.

Kids don’t always need our full attention. Mostly, they’ll be able to hold the idea of us and feel our connection across time and space.

Sometimes though, their tanks will feel a little empty. They’ll feel the ‘missing’ of us. This will happen in all our relationships from time to time.

Like any of us humans, our kids and teens won’t always move to restore that felt connection to us in polished or lovely ways. They won’t always have the skills or resources to do this. (Same for us as adults - we’ve all been there.)

Instead, in a desperate, urgent attempt to restore balance to the attachment system, the brain will often slide into survival mode.

This allows the brain to act urgently (‘See me! Be with me!) but not always rationally (‘I’m missing you. I’m feeling unseen, unnoticed, unchosen. I know this doesn’t make sense because you’re right there, and I know you love me, but it’s just how I feel. Can you help me?’

If we don’t notice them enough when they’re unnoticeable, they’ll make themselves noticeable. For children, to be truly unseen is unsafe. But being seen and feeling seen are different. Just because you see them, doesn’t mean they’ll feel it.

The brain’s survival mode allows your young person to be seen, but not necessarily in a way that makes it easy for us to give them what they need.

The fix?

- First, recognise that behaviour isn’t about a bad child. It’s a child who is feeling disconnected. One of their most important safety systems - the attachment system - is struggling. Their behaviour is an unskilled, under-resourced attempt to restore it.

- Embrace them, lean in to them - reject the behaviour.

- Keep their system fuelled with micro-connections - notice them when they’re unnoticeable, play, touch, express joy when you’re with them, share laughter.♥️

View

Apr 13

Open
We can’t fix a problem (felt disconnection) by replicating the problem (removing affection, time-out, ignoring them). All young people at some point will feel the distance between them and their loved adult. This isn’t bad parenting. It’s life. Life gets in the way sometimes - work stress, busy-ness, other kiddos. We can’t be everything to everybody all the time, and we don’t need to be. Kids don’t always need our full attention. Mostly, they’ll be able to hold the idea of us and feel our connection across time and space. Sometimes though, their tanks will feel a little empty. They’ll feel the ‘missing’ of us. This will happen in all our relationships from time to time. Like any of us humans, our kids and teens won’t always move to restore that felt connection to us in polished or lovely ways. They won’t always have the skills or resources to do this. (Same for us as adults - we’ve all been there.) Instead, in a desperate, urgent attempt to restore balance to the attachment system, the brain will often slide into survival mode. This allows the brain to act urgently (‘See me! Be with me!) but not always rationally (‘I’m missing you. I’m feeling unseen, unnoticed, unchosen. I know this doesn’t make sense because you’re right there, and I know you love me, but it’s just how I feel. Can you help me?’ If we don’t notice them enough when they’re unnoticeable, they’ll make themselves noticeable. For children, to be truly unseen is unsafe. But being seen and feeling seen are different. Just because you see them, doesn’t mean they’ll feel it. The brain’s survival mode allows your young person to be seen, but not necessarily in a way that makes it easy for us to give them what they need. The fix? - First, recognise that behaviour isn’t about a bad child. It’s a child who is feeling disconnected. One of their most important safety systems - the attachment system - is struggling. Their behaviour is an unskilled, under-resourced attempt to restore it. - Embrace them, lean in to them - reject the behaviour. - Keep their system fuelled with micro-connections - notice them when they’re unnoticeable, play, touch, express joy when you’re with them, share laughter.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Everything comes back to how safe we feel - everything: how we feel and behave, whether we can connect, learn, play - or not. It all comes back to felt safety.

The foundation of felt safety for kids and teens is connection with their important adults.

Actually, connection with our important people is the foundation of felt safety for all of us.

All kids will struggle with feeling a little disconnected at times. All of us adults do too. Why? Because our world gets busy sometimes, and ‘busy’ and ‘connected’ are often incompatible.

In trying to provide the very best we can for them, sometimes ‘busy’ takes over. This will happen in even the most loving families.

This is when you might see kiddos withdraw a little, or get bigger with their behaviour, maybe more defiant, bigger feelings. This is a really normal (though maybe very messy!) attempt to restore felt safety through connection.

We all do this in our relationships. We’re more likely to have little scrappy arguments with our partners, friends, loved adults when we’re feeling disconnected from them.

This isn’t about wilful attempt, but an instinctive, primal attempt to restore felt safety through visibility. Because for any human, (any mammal really), to feel unseen is to feel unsafe.

Here’s the fix. Notice them when they are unnoticeable. If you don’t have time for longer check-ins or conversations or play, that’s okay - dose them up with lots of micro-moments of connection.

Micro-moments matter. Repetition matters - of loving incidental comments, touch, laughter. It all matters. They might not act like it does in the moment - but it does. It really does.

And when you can, something else to add in is putting word to the things you do for them that might go unnoticed - but doing this in a joyful way - not in a ‘look at what I do for you’ way.

‘Guess what I’m making for dinner tonight because I know how much you love it … pizza!’

‘I missed you today. Here you go - I brought these car snacks for you. I know how much you love these.’

‘I feel like I haven’t had enough time with you today. I can’t wait to sit down and have dinner with you.’ ❤️

#parenting #gentleparenting #parent #parentingwithrespect

View

Apr 6

Open
Everything comes back to how safe we feel - everything: how we feel and behave, whether we can connect, learn, play - or not. It all comes back to felt safety. The foundation of felt safety for kids and teens is connection with their important adults. Actually, connection with our important people is the foundation of felt safety for all of us. All kids will struggle with feeling a little disconnected at times. All of us adults do too. Why? Because our world gets busy sometimes, and ‘busy’ and ‘connected’ are often incompatible. In trying to provide the very best we can for them, sometimes ‘busy’ takes over. This will happen in even the most loving families. This is when you might see kiddos withdraw a little, or get bigger with their behaviour, maybe more defiant, bigger feelings. This is a really normal (though maybe very messy!) attempt to restore felt safety through connection. We all do this in our relationships. We’re more likely to have little scrappy arguments with our partners, friends, loved adults when we’re feeling disconnected from them. This isn’t about wilful attempt, but an instinctive, primal attempt to restore felt safety through visibility. Because for any human, (any mammal really), to feel unseen is to feel unsafe. Here’s the fix. Notice them when they are unnoticeable. If you don’t have time for longer check-ins or conversations or play, that’s okay - dose them up with lots of micro-moments of connection. Micro-moments matter. Repetition matters - of loving incidental comments, touch, laughter. It all matters. They might not act like it does in the moment - but it does. It really does. And when you can, something else to add in is putting word to the things you do for them that might go unnoticed - but doing this in a joyful way - not in a ‘look at what I do for you’ way. ‘Guess what I’m making for dinner tonight because I know how much you love it … pizza!’ ‘I missed you today. Here you go - I brought these car snacks for you. I know how much you love these.’ ‘I feel like I haven’t had enough time with you today. I can’t wait to sit down and have dinner with you.’ ❤️ #parenting #gentleparenting #parent #parentingwithrespect

karenyoung_heysigmund

It is this way for all of us, and none of this is about perfection.

Sometimes there will be disconnect, collisions, discomfort. Sometimes we won’t be completely emotionally available.

What’s important is that they feel they can connect with us enough.

If we can’t move to the connection they want in the moment, name the missing or the disconnect to help them feel less alone in it:

- ‘I missed you today.’
- ‘This is a busy week isn’t it. I wish I could have more time with you. Let’s go to the park or watch a movie together on Sunday.’
- ‘I know you’re annoyed with me right now. I’m right here when you’re ready to talk. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.’
- ‘I can see you need space. I’ll check in on you in a few minutes.’

Remember that micro-connections matter - the incidental chats, noticing them when they are unnoticeable, the smiles, the hugs, the shared moments of joy. They all matter, not just for your little people but for your big ones too.♥️

View

Mar 30

Open
It is this way for all of us, and none of this is about perfection. Sometimes there will be disconnect, collisions, discomfort. Sometimes we won’t be completely emotionally available. What’s important is that they feel they can connect with us enough. If we can’t move to the connection they want in the moment, name the missing or the disconnect to help them feel less alone in it: - ‘I missed you today.’ - ‘This is a busy week isn’t it. I wish I could have more time with you. Let’s go to the park or watch a movie together on Sunday.’ - ‘I know you’re annoyed with me right now. I’m right here when you’re ready to talk. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.’ - ‘I can see you need space. I’ll check in on you in a few minutes.’ Remember that micro-connections matter - the incidental chats, noticing them when they are unnoticeable, the smiles, the hugs, the shared moments of joy. They all matter, not just for your little people but for your big ones too.♥️

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