Welcome to The Rooftop

Teens, this is a place for you to settle in. Adolescence is a time of discovery, experimentation, and experiencing the world with new eyes and new courage. The world can’t be brilliant without you! Shine on! – How to become the vibrant, healthy, extraordinary adult you’re capable of being. Some of the things we cover include ways to build courage, resilience, confidence, self-esteem.

Being Human (and feeling the feels) – Building social and emotional intelligence, feelings and how to make them work in ways that nourish you.
Anxiety – What it is, why it feels the way it does, how to stop it getting in your way.
With Others – Friendships, peer pressure, how to shine, how to talk so others will listen, how to have difficult conversations, how to build friendships that work, how to set and protect your boundaries.
When People are a Pity – Bullying, frenemies, how to deal with friendships or relationships that feel bad, how to protect yourself from bullies or disrespect.
Some Grown-Upish Conversation – No preaching, no lecturing – just a chat about the important things that can sometimes be tough to talk about.

You, Fabulous You

Building confidence, self-esteem, courage, and everything else that can make you even more fabulous than you already are.

Being Human

The feels – all the human feels. Managing the feels that feel bad, and building the ones that make you feel like a rock star.

How to manage and thrive through that flighty, racey, worrying feeling – because who doesn’t get anxiety!?

With Others

Relationships and building your tribe, your presence, and your connection with friends, family, the ones who don’t know you yet, social media.

Some Grown Up-ish Conversation

The answers to the questions you weren’t sure how to ask – addiction, alcohol, relationships, drugs and more.

When People Are A Pity

Dealing with bullies, frenemies, peer pressure, and the people who make life tougher than it needs to be.

Real Questions Answered

The info you want to know about … anything. Whether it’s because you’re curious, or because you’re dealing with something tough, if there’s something you’re wondering about, ask it here. The world feels a little kinder and a little easier when we share our ‘stuff’.

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Feb 16

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karenyoung_heysigmund

Too many students are being stifled by anxiety, and this number is on the rise.

Far from being ‘another anxiety workshop’, this comprehensive approach will draw on neuroscience, evidence-based strategies, and highly respected therapeutic models in developing a fresh, impactful approach to working with anxiety in young people.

We will explore anxiety from the ground up, developing a ‘roadmap’ for a therapeutic response to anxiety that will include key information, powerful strategies, and new responses to anxiety to effect immediate and long-term change.

This workshop is for anyone who works with young people in any capacity.

Includes full catering, handbook and PD certificate.

For the full range of workshops in Australia and New Zealand, see the link in the bio.♥️

Feb 5

Too many students are being stifled by anxiety, and this number is on the rise.

Far from being ‘another anxiety workshop’, this comprehensive approach will draw on neuroscience, evidence-based strategies, and highly respected therapeutic models in developing a fresh, impactful approach to working with anxiety in young people.

We will explore anxiety from the ground up, developing a ‘roadmap’ for a therapeutic response to anxiety that will include key information, powerful strategies, and new responses to anxiety to effect immediate and long-term change.

This workshop is for anyone who works with young people in any capacity.

Includes full catering, handbook and PD certificate.

For the full range of workshops in Australia and New Zealand, see the link in the bio.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way.

Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown.

Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us.

Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade.

There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm.

There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first.

The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first.

There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning.

The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships.

The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).

Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️

Feb 4

Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way.

Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown.

Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us.

Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade.

There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm.

There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first.

The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first.

There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning.

The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships.

The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).

Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Love and lead.

First, we love. Validation lets them know we see them. Validation is a presence, not a speech. It’s showing our willingness to sit with them in the ‘big’ of it all, without needing to talk them out of how they feel.

It says, ‘I see you. I believe you that this feels big. Bring your feelings to me, because I can look after you through all of it.’

Then, we lead. Our response will lead theirs, not just this time, but well into the future.

If we support avoidance, their need to avoid will grow. The message we send is, ‘Maybe you aren’t safe here. Maybe you can’t handle this. Maybe your anxiety is telling the truth.’

Of course, if they truly aren’t safe, then avoidance is important.

But if they are safe and we support avoidance, we are inadvertently teaching them to avoid anything that comes with anxiety - and all brave, new, hard, important things will come with anxiety.

Think about job interviews, meeting new people, first dates, approaching someone to say sorry, saying no - all of these will come with anxiety.

The experiences they have now in being able to move forward with anxiety in scary-safe situations (like school) will breathe life into their capacity to do the hard, important things that will nourish and grow them for the rest of their lives. First though, they will be watching you for signs as to whether or not anxiety is a stop sign or a warning. The key to loving bravely and wholly is knowing the difference.

Teach them to ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like this because I’m in danger? (Is this scary dangerous?) Or because there’s something brave, new, hard, important I need to do. (Is this scary-safe?). Then, ‘Is this a time to be safe or brave?’

To show them we believe they are safe and capable, try, ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this.’ Then, give them a squeeze, hand them to a trusted adult, and give them a quick, confident goodbye. Their tears won’t hurt them, as long as they aren’t alone in their tears.

It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they are forward.♥️

Jan 28

Love and lead.

First, we love. Validation lets them know we see them. Validation is a presence, not a speech. It’s showing our willingness to sit with them in the ‘big’ of it all, without needing to talk them out of how they feel.

It says, ‘I see you. I believe you that this feels big. Bring your feelings to me, because I can look after you through all of it.’

Then, we lead. Our response will lead theirs, not just this time, but well into the future.

If we support avoidance, their need to avoid will grow. The message we send is, ‘Maybe you aren’t safe here. Maybe you can’t handle this. Maybe your anxiety is telling the truth.’

Of course, if they truly aren’t safe, then avoidance is important.

But if they are safe and we support avoidance, we are inadvertently teaching them to avoid anything that comes with anxiety - and all brave, new, hard, important things will come with anxiety.

Think about job interviews, meeting new people, first dates, approaching someone to say sorry, saying no - all of these will come with anxiety.

The experiences they have now in being able to move forward with anxiety in scary-safe situations (like school) will breathe life into their capacity to do the hard, important things that will nourish and grow them for the rest of their lives. First though, they will be watching you for signs as to whether or not anxiety is a stop sign or a warning. The key to loving bravely and wholly is knowing the difference.

Teach them to ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like this because I’m in danger? (Is this scary dangerous?) Or because there’s something brave, new, hard, important I need to do. (Is this scary-safe?). Then, ‘Is this a time to be safe or brave?’

To show them we believe they are safe and capable, try, ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this.’ Then, give them a squeeze, hand them to a trusted adult, and give them a quick, confident goodbye. Their tears won’t hurt them, as long as they aren’t alone in their tears.

It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they are forward.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

I`m so excited to be speaking about separation anxiety at the Childhood Potential Online Montessori Conference.

The conference will involve conversations with over 40 other experts, and will take place from 27-31 January 2025. This is for anyone who is an important adult to a young child or toddler.

I`d love you to join me. See more here
: http://childhoodpotential.com/?a_box=ncw8h43m&a_cam=1

Jan 28

I'm so excited to be speaking about separation anxiety at the Childhood Potential Online Montessori Conference.

The conference will involve conversations with over 40 other experts, and will take place from 27-31 January 2025. This is for anyone who is an important adult to a young child or toddler.

I'd love you to join me. See more here
: http://childhoodpotential.com/?a_box=ncw8h43m&a_cam=1

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