karenyoung_heysigmund
Love and lead.
First, we love. Validation lets them know we see them. Validation is a presence, not a speech. It’s showing our willingness to sit with them in the ‘big’ of it all, without needing to talk them out of how they feel.
It says, ‘I see you. I believe you that this feels big. Bring your feelings to me, because I can look after you through all of it.’
Then, we lead. Our response will lead theirs, not just this time, but well into the future.
If we support avoidance, their need to avoid will grow. The message we send is, ‘Maybe you aren’t safe here. Maybe you can’t handle this. Maybe your anxiety is telling the truth.’
Of course, if they truly aren’t safe, then avoidance is important.
But if they are safe and we support avoidance, we are inadvertently teaching them to avoid anything that comes with anxiety - and all brave, new, hard, important things will come with anxiety.
Think about job interviews, meeting new people, first dates, approaching someone to say sorry, saying no - all of these will come with anxiety.
The experiences they have now in being able to move forward with anxiety in scary-safe situations (like school) will breathe life into their capacity to do the hard, important things that will nourish and grow them for the rest of their lives. First though, they will be watching you for signs as to whether or not anxiety is a stop sign or a warning. The key to loving bravely and wholly is knowing the difference.
Teach them to ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like this because I’m in danger? (Is this scary dangerous?) Or because there’s something brave, new, hard, important I need to do. (Is this scary-safe?). Then, ‘Is this a time to be safe or brave?’
To show them we believe they are safe and capable, try, ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this.’ Then, give them a squeeze, hand them to a trusted adult, and give them a quick, confident goodbye. Their tears won’t hurt them, as long as they aren’t alone in their tears.
It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they are forward.♥️
Charlie (verified owner) –
My wife bought this for herself and loved it so much we bought another for our 8 year old grandson, who suffers from social anxiety. I haven’t had the chance to talk with him since it arrived, but my son says the plushie is now in his bed and the book on his bedside table. You are doing something good and I would like to thank you.
Penny (verified owner) –
Had such a positive impact for my 5yr old. We continue to refer back to the book and toy in a range of situations. She is a much more confident young person. Love this and highly recommend.
Suz (verified owner) –
The Hey Warrior book and Amygdala plushie have made such a positive impact on my thoughtful, anxious 9yo. Thank you so much for creating this product; we’ve added it to her wellness toolbox. I am recommending it to everyone and will be giving as gifts in the future.
Emma C (verified owner) –
This was recommended to me by a member of a support group for kidney kids, my son has medical anxiety whilst he’s a little too young, I love it! I work in mental health and I think this is great for adults too! Beautiful book and toy. Thank you!
Nicki A W (verified owner) –
This book gives an excellent explanation of the anxiety my 10 year old grandson is experiencing. He has named the plushie “Blue”. We are also practicing the coping strategies. Love all this material!
Peter S –
These books are truly wonderful! And the plush is my daughters favorite. (she calls him “Ang-zitty” and brings him and hands him to me or my wife to hug whenever either of us gets upset. 🙂 Thanks!
Sophie (verified owner) –
This was such a great recommendation! It really helped my daughter to better understand her anxiety and to feel more normal about it and in control of it. Thank you!!
Jodi H (verified owner) –
After discovering Hey Warrior at the library, I simply had to buy our own copy. The best explanation of anxiety for kids (and older) that I’ve found. Gentle and beautiful, without blame or shame, and it plants the seed that anxiety can be reduced, we can have some control.
Colleen M. (verified owner) –
I have experienced panic and anxiety, and I was noticing similar behavior patterns in my daughter such as withdrawal and worry. I gave the stuffy to my daughter I was a bit concerned about. I showed her how to use proper breathing using the stuffy on her stomach as suggested.
I gave the book to all three of my 6-year-olds — yes, I’ve got triplets! They love science so the thorough biological explanations of fight and flight weren’t lost on them. This is a valuable tool for all children. My greatest take-away was to continue to explain to my children that they can teach themselves when to ignore fear and when to listen to it.
Deborah Mc (verified owner) –
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and am using this book and plush toy with my young clients who struggle with anxious feelings. It is well written and so helpful to explain what is happening in their brains.
Jodi (verified owner) –
The book, plush Amygdala toy and strategies taught in the book have been really helpful for my 5yo daughter as she faces separation anxiety. Such a great concept and way to support children to understand and manage the uncomfortable feelings that come with anxiety. Thank you.
Dan P (verified owner) –
Really lovely and thoughtful book. Provides loads of child appropriate information and is incredibly insightful for parents too. 8yo daughter really liked reading it along with the soft toy.
Tracey (verified owner) –
Sent it to my nephew and he is 10. He thought the books was great and he sleeps with the plushy! Thanks for providing such a supportive, educational and comforting gift!
Sami, Xavier, and Revan (verified owner) –
Our family love this! My boys are 7.5 and 5.75 and we have been talking about their amygdala and being brave and helping soothe their over-reactive amygdalas if needed. Letting their brain know they are safe. It’s been amazing.
Mary T (verified owner) –
My 7 year daughter absolutely loves the stuffed animal warrior, she even packs it in her backpack everyday! We have learned so much by reading “Hey Warrior”. She is discovering how to be brave through this book. Thank you!!!
Jen T (verified owner) –
My 8 year old daughter really resonated with the scientific explanation of anxiety. She is so proud of her stuffy Amygdala and shows it to her friends and explains what it does. We ordered a book and stuffy set for her best friend too!
Amanda –
Fantastic book (and such a sweet stuffed “Warrior”)! My nine year old daughter and I have read the book together many times and she has shared it with many important people in her life.