by Karen Young (BSc)(Psych)(Hons)MastGestTher
VIEWS
‘Hand on Heart’ – A Powerful Way to Calm Anxiety, For Children, Teens and Adults
@resilientkidsconference is back! I love these events so much.
RKC is a one-day event for parents and professionals who live and work with kids and teens.
It’s a place where Australia’s leading parenting educators join forces to support you with practical tools and strategies, so you can better show up for this generation of kids.
Since 2016, RKC live events have attracted up to 800 attendees at a single event, so the vibe is wonderful.
It’s much more than a conference. It’s a community of people, redefining resilience together, and we want you to have THE BEST DAY!
Date: Sat 24th May 2025
Where: Nexus Auditorium, Everton Park, Brisbane
Tickets are now available for in person or online, and this year I’ll be joining 3 other brilliant speakers:
🌟 @michellemitchell.author will be kicking off the day with powerful ways to support kids and teens to face challenges when life feels tough. This session will dive into the real meaning of resilience —what it is, what it isn’t, and the impact caring adults can make on a child’s ability to adapt and grow.
🌟Steve Biddulph - The grandfather of parenting (and this decades best selling parenting author), Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys will be joining us from his lounge room via zoom for his session.
🌟 @matt.runnalls from Mindfull Aus.
He will be like listening to the heart, needs and the words of your own child or adolescent, but with some age behind him.
🌟And of course, Me! I’ll be talking about Big Feelings and Big Behaviours. It is a completely different presentation to the one I’ve done in previous years at RKC. I’ll be applying neuroscience to make sense of all the behaviours and big feels you’ll see in your kiddos (and experience in yourselves!). You’ll leave feeling excited, validated, and more equipped to respond to your child or teen in those big moments, and strengthen your connection and influence with them.
I have so much affection and respect for all these speakers. It will be a fabulous day and I can’t wait.
Link to buy tickets is in my bio.♥️
Mar 27
Too many students are being stifled by anxiety, and this number is on the rise.
Far from being ‘another anxiety workshop’, this comprehensive approach will draw on neuroscience, evidence-based strategies, and highly respected therapeutic models in developing a fresh, impactful approach to working with anxiety in young people.
We will explore anxiety from the ground up, developing a ‘roadmap’ for a therapeutic response to anxiety that will include key information, powerful strategies, and new responses to anxiety to effect immediate and long-term change.
This workshop is for anyone who works with young people in any capacity.
Includes full catering, handbook and PD certificate.
For the full range of workshops in Australia and New Zealand, see the link in the bio.♥️
Feb 5
Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way.
Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown.
Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us.
Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade.
There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm.
There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first.
The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first.
There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning.
The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships.
The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).
Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️
Feb 4
Love and lead.
First, we love. Validation lets them know we see them. Validation is a presence, not a speech. It’s showing our willingness to sit with them in the ‘big’ of it all, without needing to talk them out of how they feel.
It says, ‘I see you. I believe you that this feels big. Bring your feelings to me, because I can look after you through all of it.’
Then, we lead. Our response will lead theirs, not just this time, but well into the future.
If we support avoidance, their need to avoid will grow. The message we send is, ‘Maybe you aren’t safe here. Maybe you can’t handle this. Maybe your anxiety is telling the truth.’
Of course, if they truly aren’t safe, then avoidance is important.
But if they are safe and we support avoidance, we are inadvertently teaching them to avoid anything that comes with anxiety - and all brave, new, hard, important things will come with anxiety.
Think about job interviews, meeting new people, first dates, approaching someone to say sorry, saying no - all of these will come with anxiety.
The experiences they have now in being able to move forward with anxiety in scary-safe situations (like school) will breathe life into their capacity to do the hard, important things that will nourish and grow them for the rest of their lives. First though, they will be watching you for signs as to whether or not anxiety is a stop sign or a warning. The key to loving bravely and wholly is knowing the difference.
Teach them to ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like this because I’m in danger? (Is this scary dangerous?) Or because there’s something brave, new, hard, important I need to do. (Is this scary-safe?). Then, ‘Is this a time to be safe or brave?’
To show them we believe they are safe and capable, try, ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this.’ Then, give them a squeeze, hand them to a trusted adult, and give them a quick, confident goodbye. Their tears won’t hurt them, as long as they aren’t alone in their tears.
It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they are forward.♥️
Jan 28
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