Terms of Use 

Thank you for visiting Hey Sigmund. I love that you are here and hope you will find plenty of useful information. I hope that you stay a while and that you will come back again – hopefully many ‘agains’. To make sure we’re all kept safe, there are some rules. Nothing unusual or dramatic, but best that we all know where we stand.

What You Agree To In Using This Website

Your use of this website means that you agree to the following terms of use.

What This Website Is – And Isn’t 

The articles, information and comments on this website provide general information only and do not constitute advice in any way.

It is important to me that the information provided on this site is thoughtful, detailed, well-researched and relevant, but it is just a guide. What is best for you will depend on your personal history and circumstances. For this reason, if you require more support, information or guidance in relation to a particular issue, please speak with a medical practitioner or counsellor who will be able to take the time to understand the detail of you, your history and your circumstances, and use this to advise you on the most effective course of action.

If you are in need of more immediate support, please click here.

Just to be clear … 

You must not use this website or any information, articles, images or anything in connection to this website for anything that breaks the law.

Intellectual Property

The design, information and articles on this website are subject to copyright owned by Karen Young, or used under licence from a third party. As such the design, information and articles are protected by international copyright laws. 

Content Share Guidelines

Here at Hey Sigmund, we love you sharing our work as much as we love you reading it.  Just a few things to keep in mind:

•  You are welcome to share links to any content contained in Hey Sigmund. The truth is, we’ll love you for it.

•  You are welcome to quote up to 75 words of content from any article in your own blog articles as long as you attribute ownership. Attribute Karen Young and www.heysigmund.com as the source and please create a link to the original Hey Sigmund article you are referencing.

•  Unless you obtain our prior written consent (which we may grant in exceptional circumstances) the republication or reprinting of full or substantial sections of any articles in form or word for word on the web is not permitted, even if you provide full credit and links back to us. 

•  You are not permitted to profit from the use of our content.

•  This one goes without saying but since we’re talking anyway … you cannot claim our content as your own original ideas.

•  If you are wanting to print hard copies other than for personal use, please contact us for consent (which will never be withheld for a good cause). 

Email Communication

When you subscribe to our newsletter by entering your email address through the newsletter sign-up on the website or through the newsletter pop-up that may appear on the website, you will be added to our mailing list. We will never spam you and we will never provide your details to anyone else. You can unsubscribe from this list at any time.

Third Party Links

This website contains links to other websites which are not under our control. Because of this, we are not responsible for the content or working of those sites. If external links are used on this site, we would typically approve of the content of those links but we do not take any responsibility for any part of those websites, nor do we endorse or provide any warranty in relation to those websites and the content they contain. The links may not remain current and as they are outside of our control, your use of them is at your own risk.

Privacy Policy

For full details of our privacy policy, please see here.

Indemnity

We rely on you to abide by these terms of use. If you do not comply with these terms of use and we suffer any loss or damage or incur any costs as a result of your non-compliance, you agree to indemnify us for those losses, damages and costs. You also agree to indemnify us from and against all actions, claims, suits, demands, damages, liabilities, costs or expenses that arise out of your use of the website.

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karenyoung_heysigmund

We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree.

When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that.

The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm.

Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm.

It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age.

We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond.

It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control.

Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to.

When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them.

If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’

Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.)

Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 8

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18127616737453276
We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree. When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that. The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm. Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm. It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age. We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond. It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control. Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to. When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them. If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’ Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.) Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference.

We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 2

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17952016169987182
Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference. We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 29

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18277572268274860
If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

You know what`s lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? …
Sales. 

You know what`s even lovelier?
Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer.

For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens.

With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We`ve been there.)

This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone.

Happy shopping!

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 23

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17993676968654353
You know what's lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? … Sales.  You know what's even lovelier? Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer. For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens. With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We've been there.) This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone. Happy shopping!

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