by Karen Young (BSc)(Psych)(Hons)MastGestTher
VIEWS
‘Hand on Heart’ – A Powerful Way to Calm Anxiety, For Children, Teens and Adults
It is this way for all of us, and none of this is about perfection.
Sometimes there will be disconnect, collisions, discomfort. Sometimes we won’t be completely emotionally available.
What’s important is that they feel they can connect with us enough.
If we can’t move to the connection they want in the moment, name the missing or the disconnect to help them feel less alone in it:
- ‘I missed you today.’
- ‘This is a busy week isn’t it. I wish I could have more time with you. Let’s go to the park or watch a movie together on Sunday.’
- ‘I know you’re annoyed with me right now. I’m right here when you’re ready to talk. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.’
- ‘I can see you need space. I’ll check in on you in a few minutes.’
Remember that micro-connections matter - the incidental chats, noticing them when they are unnoticeable, the smiles, the hugs, the shared moments of joy. They all matter, not just for your little people but for your big ones too.♥️
Mar 30
@resilientkidsconference is back! I love these events so much.
RKC is a one-day event for parents and professionals who live and work with kids and teens.
It’s a place where Australia’s leading parenting educators join forces to support you with practical tools and strategies, so you can better show up for this generation of kids.
Since 2016, RKC live events have attracted up to 800 attendees at a single event, so the vibe is wonderful.
It’s much more than a conference. It’s a community of people, redefining resilience together, and we want you to have THE BEST DAY!
Date: Sat 24th May 2025
Where: Nexus Auditorium, Everton Park, Brisbane
Tickets are now available for in person or online, and this year I’ll be joining 3 other brilliant speakers:
🌟 @michellemitchell.author will be kicking off the day with powerful ways to support kids and teens to face challenges when life feels tough. This session will dive into the real meaning of resilience —what it is, what it isn’t, and the impact caring adults can make on a child’s ability to adapt and grow.
🌟Steve Biddulph - The grandfather of parenting (and this decades best selling parenting author), Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys will be joining us from his lounge room via zoom for his session.
🌟 @matt.runnalls from Mindfull Aus.
He will be like listening to the heart, needs and the words of your own child or adolescent, but with some age behind him.
🌟And of course, Me! I’ll be talking about Big Feelings and Big Behaviours. It is a completely different presentation to the one I’ve done in previous years at RKC. I’ll be applying neuroscience to make sense of all the behaviours and big feels you’ll see in your kiddos (and experience in yourselves!). You’ll leave feeling excited, validated, and more equipped to respond to your child or teen in those big moments, and strengthen your connection and influence with them.
I have so much affection and respect for all these speakers. It will be a fabulous day and I can’t wait.
Link to buy tickets is in my bio.♥️
Mar 27
Too many students are being stifled by anxiety, and this number is on the rise.
Far from being ‘another anxiety workshop’, this comprehensive approach will draw on neuroscience, evidence-based strategies, and highly respected therapeutic models in developing a fresh, impactful approach to working with anxiety in young people.
We will explore anxiety from the ground up, developing a ‘roadmap’ for a therapeutic response to anxiety that will include key information, powerful strategies, and new responses to anxiety to effect immediate and long-term change.
This workshop is for anyone who works with young people in any capacity.
Includes full catering, handbook and PD certificate.
For the full range of workshops in Australia and New Zealand, see the link in the bio.♥️
Feb 5
Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way.
Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown.
Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us.
Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade.
There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm.
There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first.
The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first.
There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning.
The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships.
The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).
Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️
Feb 4
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