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Intuition – What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Use It

Intuition is real – science says so, and when science says something … Let’s talk about what it is, why it matters, and how to use it. It’s that little voice in you, and it’s more important than you know.

Transcript

  • Making a good decision or a right decision isn’t always easy. It requires strength, courage and wisdom. We have something on board that can really help with this if we let it. It’s called intuition. You’ve probably heard of intuition but you might not know exactly what it is. Intuition is a very real thing.
  • Researchers have found that we humans operate on two systems. One is a really immediate, automatic, quick system. That’s our intuition. Our intuition draws on memories and experiences and everything that we know inside us, but it isn’t always available to our awareness. When we have an experience, all of that wisdom and the learning and memories from that experience, they don’t just disappear. They get stored away and that’s what our intuition taps into. We’re not always aware of where it comes from or why we have that voice inside us, but it’s very real.
  • The other system that we humans operate on is more analytical. It’s slower and it’s where we take time to consider things. That’s a really great thing to do. It’s a really healthy thing to do, but sometimes things like fear or peer pressure or pressure from outside can get in the way and steer us in a direction which isn’t great. If you can put the two systems together, that’s a really brilliant way to make a good decision.
  • Intuition is that little voice inside you that tells you where you need to be or what direction you need to move in. It’s that little voice and it’s really important, really powerful, and very real. So, when you have that feeling that something isn’t right, or feels fake, or that there’s a better way to do things, or there’s a better decision, a different decision that needs to be made, listen to it. People call it gut instinct or heart whispers, but it’s all intuition. It’s all the wisdom we’ve learned that gets stored away and stays there for us to tap into to make good decisions. It’s in all of us and it’s really important. So listen to that little voice inside you and let it guide you in the right direction.

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When terrible things happen, we want to make sense of things for our kids, but we can’t. Not in a way that feels like enough. Some things will never make any sense at all.

But here’s what you need to know: You don’t need to make sense of what’s happened to help them feel safe and held. We only need to make sense of how they feel about it - whatever that might be.

The research tells us so clearly that kids and teens are more likely to struggle after a tr@umatic event if they believe their response isn’t normal. 

This is because they’ll be more likely to interpret their response as a deficiency or a sign of breakage.

Normalising their feelings also helps them feel woven into a humanity that is loving and kind and good, and who feels the same things they do when people are hurt. 

‘How you feel makes sense to me. I feel that way too. I know we’ll get through this, and right now it’s okay to feel sad/ scared/ angry/ confused/ outraged. Talk to me whenever you want to and as much as you want to. There’s nothing you can feel or say that I can’t handle.’

And when they ask for answers that you don’t have (that none of us have) it’s always okay to say ‘I don’t know.’ 

When this happens, respond to the anxiety behind the question. 

When we can’t give them certainty about the ‘why’, give them certainty that you’ll get them through this. 

‘I don’t know why people do awful things. And I don’t need to know that to know we’ll get through this. There are so many people who are working hard to keep us safe so something like this doesn’t happen again, and I trust them.’

Remind them that they are held by many - the helpers at the time, the people working to make things safer.

We want them to know that they are woven in to a humanity that is good and kind and loving. Because however many people are ready to do the hurting, there always be far more who are ready to heal, help, and protect. This is the humanity they are part of, and the humanity they continue to build by being who they are.♥️
It’s the simple things that are everything. We know play, conversation, micro-connections, predictability, and having a responsive reliable relationship with at least one loving adult, can make the most profound difference in buffering and absorbing the sharp edges of the world. Not all children will get this at home. Many are receiving it from childcare or school. It all matters - so much. 

But simple isn’t always easy. 

Even for children from safe, loving, homes with engaged, loving parent/s there is so much now that can swallow our kids whole if we let it - the unsafe corners of the internet; screen time that intrudes on play, connection, stillness, sleep, and joy; social media that force feeds unsafe ideas of ‘normal’, and algorithms that hijack the way they see the world. 

They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be enough. Enough to balance what they’re getting fed when they aren’t with us. Enough talking to them, playing with them, laughing with them, noticing them, enjoying them, loving and leading them. Not all the time. Just enough of the time. 

But first, we might have to actively protect the time when screens, social media, and the internet are out of their reach. Sometimes we’ll need to do this even when they fight hard against it. 

We don’t need them to agree with us. We just need to hear their anger or upset when we change what they’ve become used to. ‘I know you don’t want this and I know you’re angry at me for reducing your screen time. And it’s happening. You can be annoyed, and we’re still [putting phones and iPads in the basket from 5pm] (or whatever your new rules are).’♥️
What if schools could see every ‘difficult’ child as a child who feels unsafe? Everything would change. Everything.♥️
Consequences are about repair and restoration, and putting things right. ‘You are such a great kid. I know you would never be mean on purpose but here we are. What happened? Can you help me understand? What might you do differently next time you feel like this? How can we put this right? Do you need my help with that?’

Punishment and consequences that don’t make sense teach kids to steer around us, not how to steer themselves. We can’t guide them if they are too scared of the fallout to turn towards us when things get messy.♥️

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